Angrymosquito.com

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got, taking a break from all your worries sure would help alot, wouldn’t you like to get away…… Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came, you wanna be where you can see the troubles are all the same, you wanna be where everybody knows your name…. You wanna go where people know, p-eople are all the same, you wanna go where everybody knows your name….

Ok… here comes another article from me. I’m gonna throw a curveball at ya tho, no Life in the City article this time, just a Life in the Z article for ya. I don’t know if I’m so much enjoying living and working in Flagstaff, but I do know I am enjoying Arizona. I love it that the Pistons won, and I love it that this is the off-season for golfing in Phoenix. Went golfing with my old man for old-mans day and the course we were on was unbelievable. For a desert landscaped golf-course, this place was great, the rough’s didn’t even have trees, just sand, so finding my usually lost golf balls was alot easier. This course charges $83 a round w/ a cart during the peak season. We paid $20 a piece for all we could golf, a cart, all we could eat at the clubhouse buffet, and also free beverages from the beverage girl… so that was nice. Anyways, miss all y’all and hope to see you guys on Turkey day.

Alright!! Hold on to your hats and don’t stand up! Here comes another unbelievably exciting version of Life!! Shit flows down hill… believe me. And if God intended man to play with his own excrement, we’d all be pooping out Play-Doh…. But I do have leads on more, higher paying jobs in lower rent districts(which I consider anywhere in the world compared to here) I had an epiphany today about my job and lifestyle… I am planning on moving to Phoenix area and working in the West valley, hopefully if all works out, and transferring my lease shouldn’t be a problem, thank God. Have I ever mentioned that budweiser is a city workers’ best friend? well if no, then it is, trust me. Now, out of a chapter of Grand Rapids Dumbasses, here’s a new one; The day I moved into my new apartment I called up the City of Grand Rapids and gave them my address so they could send me my paychecks that I still had coming…. Well, after weeks of checking the mail for my belated checks, I was forced to call up my old front office today, and guess what?!?! THEY HAD MY CHECKS!!! Assholes, and you can quote me on that. So I called my old breakroom and luckily caught a friend on break that picked up and deposited the checks for me… so I am a happy man, of course! Well, hope y’all have a good Holiday weekend, and Im gonna miss wrecking a dock or a boat in Newaygo this year, take care all

Ok, here we go again. Its been a very interesting week… I finally started my job, which is good, I was getting bored as hell. On the downside (this may be a long paragraph), I am not in the water department as which I interviewed for and also as what my classification states, Water Service Techinician, I am actually in the sewer department. Yeah, shit flows down hill, along with piss and toilet paper, oh yeah, and the occasional condom. If you cant really tell, I’m not too happy about the whole situation. From what I understood in the interview, I would be working for the water department, the CLEAN water department. But now im a shithead. Enough about that, lets move on to another aspect of Flagstaff. It really is beautiful country up here, and believe me I dont use that word very often so feel priveledged you get to see it, but the jobs within the area don’t pay shit, especially my job. I kind of realized why now; All the residents of Arizona want to live up in Flagstaff so they really don’t have to pay that much because of the demand for jobs up here, BUT, along with that demand is the demand for a place to live… get this shit, I pay $640 a month(utilities included thank God) for a studio apartment. For those of you who do not know what a studio apartment is, picture a hotel room, with a kitchen tucked away in the far corner, I’m afraid that if I fart I might blow the windows out of this place. I’m sure most of you remember Casserole, aka my apartment/refuge camp for two years, well the rent there was only $630 a month… SO maybe that will put things in perspective for you guys, and the sad thing is, I have one of the cheapest places in the city as far as studios go. The nice thing that makes me feel oh so great, is that they do have “affordable” or “low income” housing up here, which consists of a single wide mobile home for only, yeah ONLY, $150,000!! So pack up all your things everybody and come on out, you don’t need much money to live out here! Its a poor persons dream. On the plus side, the weather here is spectacular (another word I hardly use), for the two weeks Ive been up here, I have seen one cloud, and its the same cloud that hovers around the San Francisco Peaks, the highest mountains in Arizona, which still have snow on them, which is why the clouds are there. Anyways, it stays around 75 during the day and trust me, you get sun burned here very easily, about a mile and a half closer to the sun than GR and the air is alot thinner, so yeah, Im nice and red. Anyways, if you’ve read this far I’ve got more for ya, so hang on; My second day on the job, the first time I actually get to go out on the road, was very interesting. First off I work with a guy named Jimbo, yeah, Jimbo. Anyways, he’s kind of a character, after we help some catering service out with a sewage back up in their kitchen we run over to the Sonic for lunch, yeah Jord, Sonic. After that we go on another service call and end up filling our truck up with water before we head back in. So we pull up to a fire hydrant in the back of a grocery store parking lot and begin to fill up the truck, while I’m filling out paperwork I notice our truck is just about overfull, and look over at Jimbo and he is picking through trash in the parking lot, while he is looking through a Happy Meal kaliedoscope thirty feet away, the truck cab is starting to fill up with water, so I run over and try to shut down the fire hydrant. Well, the hydrant wouldn’t close and we have water going absolutely everywhere. So Jimbo runs over to the hydrant to “assist” me, and ends up turning the hydrant the wrong way and we end up with about 10 more gallons coming out a minute than what I had it at. So, in the middle of all this, Jimbo has to take a piss, so he runs, actually runs, to the grocery store, fifteen fucking minutes later he comes strolling back out with 2 bags of groceries, meanwhile I have the entire parking lot flooded, some old lady drenched and a semi trailer starting to sink in the dirt lot next to us. It gets better, of course some of you may find this stupid, Jimbo removes the hose from the fire hydrant and procedes to absolutely soak himself. I laughed, naturally. So we leave the fire hydrant going full blast so we can get back to the shop and punch out on time, city work, and Jimbo tells someone from the water department about the hydrant mishap. Well, of course he tells everyone it was my fault and I already earn a bad rep(come to find out the valve on the bottom of the hydrant was stuck so it would have happened to anyone) so yeah, I am trying to adapt out here. Anyways, I hope to hear from you guys in the near future. My address, for anyone who wants it, is

James Postema
3765 S. Yaqui Dr. Apt. 1A
Flagstaff, AZ 86001

So hopefully you guys will keep in touch because I miss all of you, plus you can always email me at Elwood7171@hotmail.com or Ungifted1@aol.com or Ungifted1@budweiser.com… Hope to hear from ya and remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty.

HEY BONE!! Get that ugly bloody egg off of my page! Alright folks, I was already to give you an update in the thrilling life of a city worker for Grand Rapids… but I’m not going to. I don’t work for Grand Rapids anymore. In fact, for the next couple of days, I am unemployed! Does that kick ass or what? Well, I just wanted to give a brief rundown of my week for those of you who are wondering… Thursday I left GR with a trailer full of my shit, Saturday morning I arrived in Flagxstaff to realize I have no place to live, so now, for the first time in my life I am homeless and unemployed (it gets better? how?). So I find out the duplex that I am “looking” to rent is not available until monday, so I says to maybelle, I says, no big deal. SO I drop off the trailer full of my shit and head down the mountain to stay the weekend with my dad. After the weekend, I trek back up the mountain to pee in a cup and get my balls played with by some chic with a degree (guys, you know what I mean), so I’m up driving around in Flagstaff when I decide to drive past my new dwellings before I sign on the lease. Good thing I did, nothing like driving, let alone living, in the mexican ghetto. Just while I was looking for my house I got called “Gringo” enough times to realize that I am white. THANKS GUYS! Not only that but graffiti and men with 40’s hanging out on the stoop of my prospective rental unit.So I decided against it, got me a small ass apartment now, that I move in to today(tuesday). So wish me luck and I’ll do the same for all y’all up there, and I’ll post my address as soon as I know it, and remember, beer is the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems.

Alright all this may be one of if not the last column of Life in the City; Grand Rapids edition… THe new and improved column will be coming straight up from Flagstaff, AZ. For those of you who (#1) read this and (#2) give a shit, I got a job in Arizona and will be departing this great state of Michigan at the end of this month (april) so if you owe me money, I’m sending a leg breaker after you, and if I owe you money, the check is already in the mail and you should get it either tomorrow or the day after. so…. remember, Life in the CIty ain’t pretty… and I’ll holla at ya from Flag, piece!

For those of you who missed my last post from AZ, check the fucking archives, illiterate losers. Alright, here we go, again. Its fucking hot (to me anyways, locals are running around in sweatshirts and jeans when it drops below 75) and I look like a damn tomato… a burnt red northern tomato. I do have an update from the good ol’ GR bureau of dumb fucks… We had a guy in a back up truck (the truck with an arrowboard so nobody hits the guy(s) working) fall asleep and run into our resident Cowboy not once, but twice… so I think there will be a job opening coming up soon. On the great western front, I’ve been out in the desert twice now with some pretty hefty firepower to boot. A couple of .357 Magnums, a couple of .45’s and a lever action rifle, yeah, needless to say there was a large decline in the cactus population as well as the furry little creatures who cant run too fast department. If anyone wants a hand gun, cmon down here cuz you can buy one with a drivers license and walk away with it that day… plus you can carry em on your side exposed anywhere you go, except government buildings and places that serve alcohol. Caught a Cubbies - Padres spring training game… Greg Maddux got his ass kicked along with the rest of the cubs… Get this, it was an SRO game… for those non-sports fans out there that means Standing Room Only, no seats left for purchase, so be like a lesbian and wear comfortable shoes to those games. Well, I am currently off to Flagstaff for a night or two to cool down considerably before I head back to the valley for my last weekend here. My NexTel does work down here and is a local call for all you poor bastards back home, so if you wanna say hey, go for it… and remember, Life in the City aint pretty.

Well, for the new update of Life I’m going to throw a twist at ya and send it up from Glandale AZ. It is about, oh, 80 outside right now and its only 9 in the morning, a nice little breeze coming through. I also would like to let you all know that I already have an interview in Flagstaff, dont know where that is? fucking look it up. That interview was offered to me the first day I arrived, the next day I won $250 at the casino… so I can only hope the rest of the vacation goes like this, I will keep you all posted, and remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty (unless yer in a city in AZ, then it aint too bad)

I hate potholes… that should be about enough to rap up this edition of Life in the City

So get this, I’m cruising around one night doing snow removal, its fun, dont let the name throw you off, and Sally fucking Struthers gets on the radio and tells me that I need to help some starving kids somewhere in Detroit or Flint or some shit. Well I’m not sure if those are the only places cuz all she said was Eastern Cities, well anyway, where the hell does Sally fucking Struthers get the nerve to tell ME i need to help someone out? I don’t even have a fuckin vehicle that works, PLUS I only had 2 dollars in my pocket and everyone knows 2 dollars doesnt go very far if you are going to the SPinning wheel for lunch. SO i diecided to call up the 1-800 number Sally fucking Struthers kept yelling out and I proceeded to tell the operator that I wanted help because I was hungry, he then told me, in his best Sally fucking Struthers impression voice, to “fuck off” and “get a life so I can see the real picture” and the dumb bastard hung up on me when I told him my dirvers license picture looker pretty real to me… Just another boring/exciting NIGHT at work… and remember Life in the City ain’t pretty