Angrymosquito.com

Well, I am officially out of the grind I like to call the United States Marine Corps.  As of July 17, I am free and clear of Uncle Sam.  I am also reaching another milestone in my life.  This sunday (7-30-06) is my first wedding anniversary.  I know what your’e thinking, what a lucky lady Lindsay is to be with Josh for a whole year.  You are probably wondering how someone could put up with my grumpy ass 24-7.  It is a mystery that will never be explained.  That shit about getting fat when you get married……is definitely true, with the exception being mike who is moving in the exact opposite direction.  I guess when you refuse to go to light beer, let alone a good diet like I do, you pay the price.  If I put on a little weight in the mid-section, at least I am still extremely good looking.  The last thing I want to add is …..Go Tigers…..finally a team to make Michigan proud.

 Thanks for having a little Dildo in your life……

I need to be able to write my article. It has been to long since everyone has had a little Dunphy in their life.

Easy.. you just made this post.. next time just change the category over to the right. I changed this post to the correct category.

Well, we have finally started another year in the journey of our lives. We have all accomplished something we are proud of, but look to achieve more. It is a cornerstone of human existence to want to always improve one’s self. Strive to do your best, but live your life satisfied and live every day to it’s fullest. I think that we should take this new year to remember our fellow americans who have given their lives so that we may live free. This is a probably a more sensitive subject for me because I am a piece of the puzzle , but it should be important to every citizen. Every time I see an article about a marine dying in the paper, a little bit of me dies. It is a brotherhood that you would most likely not understand, but for me it is the greatest thing I have ever been involved in. In a time when being in the military can cause you to be looked down upon through public displays and protests, we should all think about just how much of a thankless job it is and thank god that there are people who volunteer for this crazy stuff. I am not tooting my own horn or trying to brainwash you into thinking everything we are doing in Iraq is great, but don’t take it for granted. The situation in Iraq is a bad one and no one really knows how it is going to turn out, nonetheless, an armed forces member dies every day so you can enjoy your freedoms. Remember, live life to the fullest and I hope that all your dreams and aspirations for 2005 come true.
-Dildo

What’s up y’all? Mighty nice to get back in this place and spread some more of the word of the Dunphy. My people, I have come to you today to preach to you about a plague that is infecting the youth…..of GR. If you are going to be offended by anything I say in this article, then you are the one who is causing the problem and you can get f*cked. Every one of us has a busy life and none of us should have more stress added to our lives by one of these cowards. Well, one might say to me, stop building it up’, give it to us already. All right, here goes. The poeple I am talking about are the ones who have so much to say about you, but can’t say it to your face. They are the ones who can pass it behind their backs with more finesse than an NBA player. There are a couple people that I have in mind right now, but as I have done in the past, you two girls…..ooops….people will remain anonymous. The thing that is the worst about someone talking behind your back is that it takes a while for you to find out about it. For example, if Beth (random shit talker) said something about BOB in october, it might take him until like April or May of next year to find out. This is what sucks because the coward who is talking it thinks they got away with it for all this time. I will tell you right now, if you feel this “totally fictional” work is about you, come and get some because I will talk to your face and you will know my wrath. I have never really come to understand why these people can’t just grab a pair and come tell me how you feel. I am not going to disappoint any of you and be nice and candid about this like you might expect because of how I have changed as of late. I am a nice guy now, but these two people (to remain un-named) are going to see the old me sooner than later. If you want to know how not nice that is, ask jordan or tim and they will let you know what’s up. I will leave you with this little tid bit. If you think that you might be someone that I am talking about , either learn how to face up to people, shut your mouth, or receive what you have coming for you. I suggest the second option, but you are obviously not bright with what you are doing , so dig your own grave. To all my real friends who I know would not do this to me, much love, but to the those random aquaintances who are testing me, watch where you step.

Well, I have been told that like 10,000 people visit this site now, so I guess I should get my ass in gea5r with writing more articles or else TBONE might popo a cap in my ass. I apologize fopr the profanity used in my column, but if you don’t like it, that is too damn bad.Well, where to start…….I am in my new apartment with Lindsay and things are going great, though I am probably getting plastered a little too much. That is the fault of all these late weddings thought, not mine of course. Who can say no to free beer though? Seriously, the devil made me do it. Through all of my time back, I am getting back to the same old things, working my ass off, getting drunk, and just loving life. I f you have noticed that my column has not been the vicious personal attack on people that it usually is, it is because I have melloed out a lot that way and I just keep it simple now. I want to take another chance to thank everyone for all their suppport while I was gone and justu pretty much thank everyone for being there for me all my life. The movie of my life just wouldn’t be the same without the great supporting cast I have. You guys make my world go round and I love you all very much. Well, I guess that is about all for now and if you want a meaner column next week, just piss me off. Remember, isf all else fails………be a prick. The one and only Dildo

Well…….I know it has been forever, but when your’e in a combat zone, what can you do? I have seen all the pictures of the wedding and would like to say congratulations to mike and caitlin and renae and rob. I am sorry that I could not be present at your wedding, but Uncle Sam had a different plan for my ass. I hope trhat everyo0ne is well, as I am sure that i AM MISERABLE ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE LOT OF YA. I am sure that you are all wondering what all the babbling is about, sdo I will hit the topic. In my time here in Africa, I have had a lot of time to thihnk about just about everything that you could even imagine would run through someone’s head. My topic for today is sacrifice. Often when someone thinks about sacr2ifice, they only think that it can be for something bad. Often thingsa like sacrificing for love or for your country are over looked. With the finished warin Iraq and the war that is looking to happen in Liberia, the thoughts of the men and women of the armed foprces should be in everyone’s minds. I am not treying to play for your pity or anything liker that, but ewven here, where things are pretty calm, people have given their life for theiur coutry. I would gladly do it andf there are people doing it almost daily in Iraq. My bro is heading there, so if you could keep him in your prayers , it would be greatly appreciated. As far as sacrificing for love, whether it be a friendly love or a passionate love, this is also overlooked many times. My friends , though I am 8000 miles away would do anything in the world for me and I know they are going to be there fpor me when I get back. This has made things easier alll around and made my world a better place. My girlfriend hasx made the sacrifice of stanbding by a man for 6 months and being there for him no matter what mood he is in. The most frustrating thing of it all is , she doesn’t know when I am going to be home, but she stands by me day after day. I believe that a sacrifice, such as the one she is making ifs the biggest sign of true unconditional love I have ever seen. I just wnat tpo give much love to all of you back home and wehen I get back , we will all set and have a good time together again.
-Dildo

Hello all, it haqs been too long since I have given you all a piece of my mind and it just so happens that I have something to give you it on..I wanna get on the subject of friendship…..This happens to be a subject that could be written on til the end of time……What is a friend? Can anyone really answer this question? I don’t think so……..because a personal thing like friendship is something that everyone has their own definition for……I have my own, as I am sure you do also……The idea of true friendship has come to my mind a lot lately because I have been thinking about it a lot being 8000 miles away from home………I know what a true friend is like because I have probably the best one on the face of the planet…….You know what happens in any type of relationship, people make mistakes……..this can be a turning point in the relationship or it can be an end to the relationship……..I look at this whole fiasco that is going down back in the homeland as one big mistake that someone made, at least it was something that they were embarassed that they did, not necessarily a mistake……. I put my self in this person’s shoes and I have questioned myself as to if I might have done the same thing or am doing the same thing that I am so disturbed about….. I don’t hate this person for not telling me about what had happened and I could never hate this person, there is just always that moment when you are a little hurt because you realize that someone you care about as kept something fromm you, not necessarily purposely, but you have been left out of something….even though it doesn’t really matter because I am not home to witness what is going on, I would realy appreciate if certain people would take certain steps to get along with certain people…..It wouljd just make me happy to know that this was going on……..and for your information jordan, i bullied that info out of sheena, she didn’t brag to me about it and she thought I already knew about it……she was not trying to cause any problems, just as I am not trying to…….I am not sticking up for anybody and I love you all equally, but life is far too precious to spoend arguing………
-Dildo

Hello all……from this little place I like to calll hell…..in the cesspool of the world……we got more diseases here than a street hooker in Detroit……..I cannot really release any info about where specifically I am here in Africa throught the internet, but lert me tell you it is dirty…….I miss you all very much, but they keep me so busy here, I don’t have time to think about it…..but, let me tell you a little bit about where I am……..it is usually 90-95 degrees here with about 95% humidity and we are in the cold season………..the terrain is treacherous with a lot of lava rock…..and cigs are 8.50 a carton here for marbloro’s :)………what you have to understand is that the average person here…..middle class….makes about 6.50 a day…….upeer middle class is making about 9.00……..but, I thought I would throw you all my address in casre you wanted to write so I could tell you exactly where I am and what I am doing
Joshua J.Dunphy

MARCENT/Djibouti-CLE 1/24

OEF
APO AE 09363
….well, I ahve to go get some chow….peace y’all……Dildo

Hello to the many adoring fans who I know have missed me in my long absence from my column writing ……..and to those who might be new to reading my great literal works…….shit is about to get crazy up in this mother fucker……….i have on great new thing to talk about on this wonderful October evening…….the topic I am going to tackle is underage drinking, something I have tackled in the past, but was brought to me in a new light in light of some recent events that have taken place in the past few days……..as always, I won’t attack an individual (Xena), but I will just talk about the problem in general……I will now iuntroduce to you…..my theory of “Survival of the Fittest in Drinking”…..say for instance…..you and a bunch of your buddies were going out to a big party on a friday night……..just for the sake of this party having a purpose, we will call it a Halloween Bash………as usual, you were probably pre drinking to get a little head start on the competition…..you got your DD and you are ready to roll…….you get the party and you pretty much get separated because it is really big and you are all having fun……your DD gets really boired with being sober, so he/she decides “Hey, I can have a couple of drinks and then wait a while and sober up to drive home”……this is where my theory comes into play……you should never have the DD be the lowest animalk on the sobriety food chain so to speak…….or you might end up running into some problems……For instance this “alcohol weakling” could have more drinks than he/she could handle without you knowing it and end up getting really sick all over everything…..Also, this presents another problem…….now, you and your buddies are all wasted and your DD is passed looking like he/she is almost comatose…….now, you are all pretty much fucked and you have to try to first, get your DD some help or sober again, and now you have to fuck another person over becfause they have to come get your drunk asses and haul around what I like to call “the weakling” of your drinking party who might still be puking his/her guts out…..my advice to anyone in the future would be to :
1.Find a DD that has at least a little will power……
2.Find a DD that could handle maybe even a couple drinks…..
3.And last, but not least a male would be a good suggestion, someone who canm actuall handle themselves and not make a total ass of themself.
that is it…….The Word of the the Dildo…….you don’t like it, don’t read it…….thanks to the person(s) that gave me the inspiration to write this column…..and remember …..control the kid population…have your kids spayed or neutered….if all else fails be a prick…..
-Dildo