The Parrot A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, [...]

mm.. here ya go GM.., ASS HAIR I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem [...]

The Italian says,”When I’ve a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees,she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy.” The Frenchman replies.”Zat is noting, when Ah’ve finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body [...]

A Message from the Rural Midwest: Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Michigan, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, those states’ Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, [...]

I’ve been updating the gallery little by little as some of you have noticed. One major new feature is the favorites. Well some may have noticed that you can add your own favorites but what i’ve added is a Members list where you can view everyone’s favorites. So all the photos you love add them [...]

Wednsday we are going bar hopping. Biggest bar night of the year. I hope to get really shitty and sleep on a curb somewhere in downtown GR. Anyone who wants to go just let me know in the oneliners.

Party was a great success. I think everyone had fun. I know I did. I’d like to thank Monster Energy Drink for commin out and supplying their wondeful beverage. We finished a half gal of jagermeister in about 45mins. The cops only came once so that that cool. THanks everyone for coming out.. I know [...]

Halloween party at the kittery house on Nov 1st. Everyone should come, we will have a grand time. We have the Monster Energy guy coming and he’s bringing a couple cases of Monster.. you know what that means… MONSTER BOMBS!!! I’ll have directions soon. If you want the directions to the kittery house drop me [...]

Sales showed a large increase in the New York market during the 3rd Quarter for Product 304-A. Although many factors are involved in this increase, and subsequent 4th Quarter drop-off, the most significant reason is perhaps the fact that the company advertised the product heavily on the sides of circus elephants performing in local venues. [...]

FORTUNE’S PARTY TIPS #14 Tired of finding that other people are helping themselves to your good liquor at BYOB parties? Take along a candle, which you insert and light after you’ve opened the bottle. No one ever expects anything drinkable to be in a bottle which has a candle stuck in its neck.