Archive for August, 2004»
Alright y’all… here is one of the best quotes you will ever hear…
East Grand Rapids can kiss MY ass.
…and remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty.
BEER IS GOOD! PUSSY IS GOOD! POKER IS GOOD! Speaking of poker, we are going to start an annual World Series of Poker. If you are interested than let me know via oneliners. The cost will be $50. Details will be posted at a later time. Thanks goes out to the guys at State (Szejda, Tree, Canadian, the other guy) for hosting a party last weekend. Hope to see much more in the near future. Best wishes to “Head Trauma Nate” due to a near concussion “slip and fall” accident outside of The Riv bar. Don’t drink and run, lesson learned. That’s all I’ve got for now. Check back later for more updates. There’s more to life than your right hand!
Might as well, I am fucking here after all with nowhere to run and nowhere to drink. Shit. I got my grades back tonight. I hate them. I hate school in general and I hate Capital One. they need to make a credit card that is glued to your fucking body because then people, like me, wouldn’t try to but the whole city of East Lansing a slice. But hey, it was only activated for 15 hours before I found out it wasn’t in my wallet. “What’s in your wallet?” NOTHING you FUCKING bastards! I hate Capital One two times. Well I am out of hate for tonight. Eat shit and hate your ass off.
Ok time to dust off your eyes, stop pumping the Jergens and get out the suds. Sports Center is back, I am here and obviously so are you. Bastards. I might not know any better but I would say that the Lions defense has looked like shit as of late. I know, I know it is preseason and half of the team is hurt, on drugs, drunk or a combination of all three, which, not from experience, makes for a hell of a Sunday afternoon…on the couch, watching NASCAR. Speaking of the left-turnin’ sonsabitches the race at Michigan International Speedway this past weekend was not the shit amd it never will be remembered as so. Over to the diamond I see in my crystal ball a bright future for the Tigers. No I am not still hung over from the double-kegger at Shada/Tree/Candian/otherguyidontknow’s apartment on Saturday (good times boys and thanks for being great hosts’). I heart Ashlee Simpson, only for one reason. I wish I had some Viagra. The only fall back of this weekend, besides the Lions 17-10 loss to the Browns, was another great loss, that being my Capital One credit card. It might still be on the counter at Bell’s, or in Jake’s back pocket, either or it’s no longer with me. RIP. At least the Lions have learned that you don’t get a Super Bowl Ring for going 4-0 in the preseason…fucking Fontes. Time is near for our first annual World Series of Poker. If you are interested in attending we are looking to hold it sometime in the next month or two. Updates to follow. Soccer is back in the news. The San Fransisco Pink convention must be back in town too. Oh shit, how could I forget about the Olympics? To tell you the truth I never liked NBC anyhow. Plus who really cares about the Dream Team II (ok, besides World Champion Coach of the Detroit Pistons Larry Brown!!!)? I don’t, you shouldn’t either. Bitch. So I must go. For sports done right have a helluva night. Peace. GO GREEN!
So I’m just kinda sittin’ here at GVSU… oh yeah! oh yeah!
Hey Kool-Aid!
Anyway…
I’m bored off my ass right now. I have no work oders that I can get done before five, and I start my vacation from GVSU tomorrow. I get to work at Circuit tomorrow from 9:45-2:30, but hey.
Did I ever tell you folks how much I hate spyware? It’s the fucking bane of my existence here. What I wouldn’t give to just take computers away from everyone that doesn’t know how to use them.
So I dealt with this one computer yesterday… and today… that had porn popups on it. Gee… I wonder how those got there. Of course it’s no-one’s fault here. I’m sure none of the student workers check out porn on that computer. Hell, even the faculty over there has access to it. Supervisors over in Student Services are all like, “How do those porn popups get on there anyway?”
It’s not like I can just flat out tell them that one of their employees over there is obviously checking out porn. I just tell them that someone’s probably going to the wrong type of website. See, I play it politically correct. However, as opposed to having the common sense it takes to realize what I’m implying, they just continue assuming that it’s some freak occurence. Ignorance is indeed bliss.
Well… that’s about it for this jam-packed installment of it’s Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaal.
Well here we goes…
I’m back at GVSU for another few months. I think it’s about time to talk to my supervisor’s here and tell them to fucking hire me. After all, I’ve been specifically requested back twice. Apparently, I can actually do something right every now and again. Go fig…
So I’m sittin’ here in the help desk, and I’m bored out of my skull. We’re goin’ through some changes here, administration wise. I guess “administrative changes” means that I don’t get more than one fucking work order a day. So yeah… I just kinda sit here at a computer waiting for someone to throw a work order onto my list. I’ve got one right now… In fact, I’ve had it since yesterday, but it can’t be done until tomorrow. Thumb up the ass game it is… yee haw.
Well, I started back here last Monday, and I come to find out that one of the guys that I was friends with here ended up stealing a whole shitload of projectors and and switches and junk. In fact, he’s going through felony proceedings against the school right now. Anyway, because of this horse shit, we have to wear these stupid-ass blue Wal-Mart vests with an I.T. logo on them. Evidently the stellar middle-aged to senior citizen security crew here at GVSU doesn’t have the eyesight ability to actually see our nice I.T. namebadges. So these blue vests, which cry out, “I’m a computer nerd. Beat me up at your earliest convenience,” are here to stay.
Well, that’s it for today. Have fun kiddies.
And remember… spandex is a privelege, not a right.
The Italian says,”When I’ve a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees,she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy.”
The Frenchman replies.”Zat is noting, when Ah’ve finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy.”
The Newaygo redneck says, “That aint nothing buddy. When I’ve finished porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my wiener on the curtains. She hits the freakin’ ceiling.”
Alright y’all, time to settle down and read a new update of Life in the City…. Here goes; This place is driving me nuts. The people are nice and snobby, the pay is low and the cost of living is high. The view is extrordinary, but I still think you have to pay to see out of your window. I went to the casino the other night and won a few dollars… I was just happy to have a State Tax refund check come through, so I thought taking $100 wouldnt be too bad to show myself a good time. Well, I don’t really feel like bitching about work right now, nor do I have any funny stories for this episode. All I guess I have to say is that I’m attempting to move back home and hope to see all y’all soon….. and remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty.