Archive for May, 2004»
well i guess that im supposed to update well here it goes. Not a whole lot new just the same old shit. 50 hrs a week of work kind of fuck up your social life thats for sure. Still love beer and jack. Those might be good names for my boys when i have them. or maybe jim jack and jose but where will i meet a mexican? Huh? Well as you can tell im just babling. But hey why are we angry at mosquito’s and where the fuck did that come from? Just curious. Well stay in touch everyone and hopefully we can all get together and knock some back at some point this summer
Alright!! Hold on to your hats and don’t stand up! Here comes another unbelievably exciting version of Life!! Shit flows down hill… believe me. And if God intended man to play with his own excrement, we’d all be pooping out Play-Doh…. But I do have leads on more, higher paying jobs in lower rent districts(which I consider anywhere in the world compared to here) I had an epiphany today about my job and lifestyle… I am planning on moving to Phoenix area and working in the West valley, hopefully if all works out, and transferring my lease shouldn’t be a problem, thank God. Have I ever mentioned that budweiser is a city workers’ best friend? well if no, then it is, trust me. Now, out of a chapter of Grand Rapids Dumbasses, here’s a new one; The day I moved into my new apartment I called up the City of Grand Rapids and gave them my address so they could send me my paychecks that I still had coming…. Well, after weeks of checking the mail for my belated checks, I was forced to call up my old front office today, and guess what?!?! THEY HAD MY CHECKS!!! Assholes, and you can quote me on that. So I called my old breakroom and luckily caught a friend on break that picked up and deposited the checks for me… so I am a happy man, of course! Well, hope y’all have a good Holiday weekend, and Im gonna miss wrecking a dock or a boat in Newaygo this year, take care all
What’s up y’all? Mighty nice to get back in this place and spread some more of the word of the Dunphy. My people, I have come to you today to preach to you about a plague that is infecting the youth…..of GR. If you are going to be offended by anything I say in this article, then you are the one who is causing the problem and you can get f*cked. Every one of us has a busy life and none of us should have more stress added to our lives by one of these cowards. Well, one might say to me, stop building it up’, give it to us already. All right, here goes. The poeple I am talking about are the ones who have so much to say about you, but can’t say it to your face. They are the ones who can pass it behind their backs with more finesse than an NBA player. There are a couple people that I have in mind right now, but as I have done in the past, you two girls…..ooops….people will remain anonymous. The thing that is the worst about someone talking behind your back is that it takes a while for you to find out about it. For example, if Beth (random shit talker) said something about BOB in october, it might take him until like April or May of next year to find out. This is what sucks because the coward who is talking it thinks they got away with it for all this time. I will tell you right now, if you feel this “totally fictional” work is about you, come and get some because I will talk to your face and you will know my wrath. I have never really come to understand why these people can’t just grab a pair and come tell me how you feel. I am not going to disappoint any of you and be nice and candid about this like you might expect because of how I have changed as of late. I am a nice guy now, but these two people (to remain un-named) are going to see the old me sooner than later. If you want to know how not nice that is, ask jordan or tim and they will let you know what’s up. I will leave you with this little tid bit. If you think that you might be someone that I am talking about , either learn how to face up to people, shut your mouth, or receive what you have coming for you. I suggest the second option, but you are obviously not bright with what you are doing , so dig your own grave. To all my real friends who I know would not do this to me, much love, but to the those random aquaintances who are testing me, watch where you step.
I know I haven’t updated in some time, but trust me I have been really busy, I mean shit, money don’t grow on my fuckin’ trees, well it might, I’ll go look real quick…
Stress: GO PISTONS!!!
drunk yet…??
UnGifted1: fuck man… that was bad ass
Stress: sorry i got caught up in the game to log on
UnGifted1: thats alright
Stress: PRINCE IS THE NEXT BEST THING TO BUDWEISER!
UnGifted1: Iwas lovin it… except for the bad calls
UnGifted1: HELL YEAH!
UnGifted1: I HATE Reggie Miller
Stress: the calls were shit, the refs were the worse i have ever seen in any pro game
UnGifted1: little whiner… see him beg for the goaltending instead of going after the board? plus, werent they calling him Mr. Clutch in Game 1?
Stress: the pistons should have won by twenty
UnGifted1: yeah, no shit, double dribble? 2 OFFENSIVE fouls on Ben?
UnGifted1: I agree
UnGifted1: I love it
Stress: 99-62 in game three
UnGifted1: that’d be bad ass
UnGifted1: or if they held em under 54, what they held NJ to
Stress: that game was the absolute shit
Stress: prince for president
UnGifted1: just sucked I have no one to cheer with up here, but I am getting the guys at the shop more interested in Detroit then LA
UnGifted1: cuz once Phoenix is out of something, they all shift to SoCal teams
UnGifted1: u gotta update yer sportscenter now
Stress: fuck so cal, the only thing good about that joint are the babes, speaking of girls…i have to go and rub one out, i’m too excited, plus i have to work a double tomorrow and get ready for game three at the palace
UnGifted1: yer goin?
Stress: fuck no, but i’ll have a few 40 oz’ers ready, in hand
UnGifted1: hell yeah
UnGifted1: I hear ya there
Stress: talk to you soon my az brotha
UnGifted1: aight, piece
Stress: peace
Thanks for hangin’ tonight James, we’ll see you soon and good luck with all the sewer shit, oh and life. For sports done right have a helluva night. Peace.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I thought summer time was when things slow down….apparently I was wrong. This season has been absolutely crazy for me. Most of my time has been spent at Gv working on the grad classes. In two weeks I start my internship at Crowe Chizek, should be fun. I’m looking forward to it. This weekend I’m heading to the greatest place on Earth….CEDAR POINT! I don’t care how many times you go, the thrills are always exciting. I’m definitely looking forward to spending time waiting in line. Perhaps playing some games during the wait, just like old times, right Ang and Jon? Also, for anyone interested my sister will be returning to the area on May 29th for a week. I’m sure you would all be happy to see her, oh yeah, did I mention she was bringing a friend.
Okay, enough update on my always exciting life. Have any of you sat and watched Comedy Central? Whenever I’m feeling down, I flip through the channels and I always end up on this one. Most recently I was entertained the incredibly funny Dane Cook. This man is a genius with his wit and charm, no seriously, the man is funny, you should check him out! Okay, enough said, I’m going to get back to studying entity taxation, I have a test next week. Adieu!
Ok, here we go again. Its been a very interesting week… I finally started my job, which is good, I was getting bored as hell. On the downside (this may be a long paragraph), I am not in the water department as which I interviewed for and also as what my classification states, Water Service Techinician, I am actually in the sewer department. Yeah, shit flows down hill, along with piss and toilet paper, oh yeah, and the occasional condom. If you cant really tell, I’m not too happy about the whole situation. From what I understood in the interview, I would be working for the water department, the CLEAN water department. But now im a shithead. Enough about that, lets move on to another aspect of Flagstaff. It really is beautiful country up here, and believe me I dont use that word very often so feel priveledged you get to see it, but the jobs within the area don’t pay shit, especially my job. I kind of realized why now; All the residents of Arizona want to live up in Flagstaff so they really don’t have to pay that much because of the demand for jobs up here, BUT, along with that demand is the demand for a place to live… get this shit, I pay $640 a month(utilities included thank God) for a studio apartment. For those of you who do not know what a studio apartment is, picture a hotel room, with a kitchen tucked away in the far corner, I’m afraid that if I fart I might blow the windows out of this place. I’m sure most of you remember Casserole, aka my apartment/refuge camp for two years, well the rent there was only $630 a month… SO maybe that will put things in perspective for you guys, and the sad thing is, I have one of the cheapest places in the city as far as studios go. The nice thing that makes me feel oh so great, is that they do have “affordable” or “low income” housing up here, which consists of a single wide mobile home for only, yeah ONLY, $150,000!! So pack up all your things everybody and come on out, you don’t need much money to live out here! Its a poor persons dream. On the plus side, the weather here is spectacular (another word I hardly use), for the two weeks Ive been up here, I have seen one cloud, and its the same cloud that hovers around the San Francisco Peaks, the highest mountains in Arizona, which still have snow on them, which is why the clouds are there. Anyways, it stays around 75 during the day and trust me, you get sun burned here very easily, about a mile and a half closer to the sun than GR and the air is alot thinner, so yeah, Im nice and red. Anyways, if you’ve read this far I’ve got more for ya, so hang on; My second day on the job, the first time I actually get to go out on the road, was very interesting. First off I work with a guy named Jimbo, yeah, Jimbo. Anyways, he’s kind of a character, after we help some catering service out with a sewage back up in their kitchen we run over to the Sonic for lunch, yeah Jord, Sonic. After that we go on another service call and end up filling our truck up with water before we head back in. So we pull up to a fire hydrant in the back of a grocery store parking lot and begin to fill up the truck, while I’m filling out paperwork I notice our truck is just about overfull, and look over at Jimbo and he is picking through trash in the parking lot, while he is looking through a Happy Meal kaliedoscope thirty feet away, the truck cab is starting to fill up with water, so I run over and try to shut down the fire hydrant. Well, the hydrant wouldn’t close and we have water going absolutely everywhere. So Jimbo runs over to the hydrant to “assist” me, and ends up turning the hydrant the wrong way and we end up with about 10 more gallons coming out a minute than what I had it at. So, in the middle of all this, Jimbo has to take a piss, so he runs, actually runs, to the grocery store, fifteen fucking minutes later he comes strolling back out with 2 bags of groceries, meanwhile I have the entire parking lot flooded, some old lady drenched and a semi trailer starting to sink in the dirt lot next to us. It gets better, of course some of you may find this stupid, Jimbo removes the hose from the fire hydrant and procedes to absolutely soak himself. I laughed, naturally. So we leave the fire hydrant going full blast so we can get back to the shop and punch out on time, city work, and Jimbo tells someone from the water department about the hydrant mishap. Well, of course he tells everyone it was my fault and I already earn a bad rep(come to find out the valve on the bottom of the hydrant was stuck so it would have happened to anyone) so yeah, I am trying to adapt out here. Anyways, I hope to hear from you guys in the near future. My address, for anyone who wants it, is
James Postema
3765 S. Yaqui Dr. Apt. 1A
Flagstaff, AZ 86001
So hopefully you guys will keep in touch because I miss all of you, plus you can always email me at Elwood7171@hotmail.com or Ungifted1@aol.com or Ungifted1@budweiser.com… Hope to hear from ya and remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty.
Well let’s see here… it’s time again for another jam-packed adventure of… *ahem*
EET’S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAL!
Yep… high heat life, baseball, and community service.
So I started my community service on Monday. Let me tell ya… that’s an experience. So, for an hour and a half on Monday… I cleaned a library. Then I smoked. Then I rode around in a city van for about half an hour. Then I emptied public trash cans. Then I threw them in a dumpster. After that… I spent the rest of the time watchin’ my supervisor dig through the trash bags in the dumpster for empty cans and stuff. The fun just never ends for four hours in East Grand Rapids.
Tuesday was a whole other adventure. I cleaned the library again. Watched one of the guys on community service with me try hitting on a couple of librarians. Listened to him and another community service guy talk about starting an escort service and getting a website together for it. Then we rode around in the van for a while. We stopped at a bakery so they could eat. Then we stopped at a liquor store so I could get some smokes. Cleared some dirt from around a fence gate that wouldn’t open all the way. Then we sat on a bench for a while. Then we just sat around in the van while our supervisor spray painted water main cutoffs for repairs.
So I’m paying my debt to society, and the East Grand Rapids library is clean as a whistle.
Beyond that… there’s not really a lot going on. I got to work at one today because one of the guys called in. Then I got my hour lunch at 1:45. I’m closing tonight, and I’m only allowed 2 smoke breaks besides my lunch. This fucking blows. I get another 6 hours and 45 minutes… and only TWO smoke breaks…
Anyway… that’s it. I’m done for the day. I have to punch back in, and try not to punch any customers as I feen for smokes.
Peace out suckas.
and remember… spandex is a privilege, not a right.
HEY BONE!! Get that ugly bloody egg off of my page! Alright folks, I was already to give you an update in the thrilling life of a city worker for Grand Rapids… but I’m not going to. I don’t work for Grand Rapids anymore. In fact, for the next couple of days, I am unemployed! Does that kick ass or what? Well, I just wanted to give a brief rundown of my week for those of you who are wondering… Thursday I left GR with a trailer full of my shit, Saturday morning I arrived in Flagxstaff to realize I have no place to live, so now, for the first time in my life I am homeless and unemployed (it gets better? how?). So I find out the duplex that I am “looking” to rent is not available until monday, so I says to maybelle, I says, no big deal. SO I drop off the trailer full of my shit and head down the mountain to stay the weekend with my dad. After the weekend, I trek back up the mountain to pee in a cup and get my balls played with by some chic with a degree (guys, you know what I mean), so I’m up driving around in Flagstaff when I decide to drive past my new dwellings before I sign on the lease. Good thing I did, nothing like driving, let alone living, in the mexican ghetto. Just while I was looking for my house I got called “Gringo” enough times to realize that I am white. THANKS GUYS! Not only that but graffiti and men with 40’s hanging out on the stoop of my prospective rental unit.So I decided against it, got me a small ass apartment now, that I move in to today(tuesday). So wish me luck and I’ll do the same for all y’all up there, and I’ll post my address as soon as I know it, and remember, beer is the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems.
This past weekend (as much as I remember) was a blast. It consisted of my two favorite things in life, pussy and sand. I completed the rebuild of my dune buggy Saturday night. Then I went down to the bar. It started out slow and uneventful but as the night went on and the drinks got plentiful, the night got better.
We counted at least 5 baccalaureate parties at the bar. We may have participated in a few. It’s a shame to see such beautiful women throw their lives away by getting married. But then again, a ring never plugged a hole for me. Speaking of plugged holes, I saw one of my exes at the bar that night. We talked for a little bit, but I had to end the night as I already closed the bar and had to wake up early in the morning.
I woke up late Sunday morning (8:15 AM) to go to the dunes. I finally arrived in Silver Lake at 10:00 AM with the biggest hangover thanks to good ol’ Morgan. The annual hill climb had already began with hundreds of spectators already claiming the good seats. We watched a dozen or more buggies, jeeps, and rails compete is the competition. These are some of the most amazing machines you have/will ever see in your entire life. From turbo charged to super charged, and even the occasional naturally aspirated packin a bottle (NOS).
We then unloaded my buggy and proceeded into the dunes. You couldn’t ask for a better day. We went from cruisin’ the beach to hittin’ the hills. It was awesome.
The sand is the place to be this summer! Hope to see ya’ there!
There’s more to life than just your right hand.