Archive for March, 2003»
Shit, my life is cool. I don’t needs to be writin’ anyting in dis column. Ok, maybe I do. Tonight was filled with homework and a cancelled class, that was good, unless you like having class, then its bad. Sosa and da Cubbies won tonight. “Its soooooooo reeeeeealll!” You tell’em Sammy. Speaking of Sosa, did ya hear he lost his job (not the baseball playa, the MIA dude that usedtacould write this column)? Yeah, who cares. Lets see what else sucks, everything. I need a car, a car needs me, and I have money to need a car. What gives? Jimmy Doin’ is on 1st shift again. That’s bad. Now I have to see him more often, its bad enough when T-Bone strolls on over at 11:30 at night when I am sitting around in my boxer shorts with my Coke-bottles on. Christ you all should know by now that between 11 and midnight I like to masterbate. Gotta punch the clown before I go to bed. So if you’re going to stop in come by around 7 pm when I am at school. Thats all for now, I hope your life sucks, then we’ll be even … asshole.
HEY! Whats new assholes? Lets see here, where to being this busy day in sports? God damn it lets go right for the throat. Opening Day, MBL-style. How about ‘dem Tigers. “The Roar of ‘84″ … Get the fuck outta town. I never thought the day would come that the Whitecaps would be able to beat the Tig’s 9 games out of 10. Ok, yes I did. As a matter of fact I have felt that way ever since Cecil Fielder hit 51 homeruns back in 1990 (the ‘Caps didn’t even exist until 1994). The good news is that Dave Dumb-broski somehow blackmailed Alan Trammell, Lance Parish, and Kirk Gibson into dustin’ off their jersey’s and making a comeback tour that rivals Bon Jovi. The only difference there is Johnny and his boys would get 80,000 into Comerica whereas Tram, and Gibby will be lucky to crack 80,000 by the All-Star Break. Whew! Enough about the shitty Tig’s, oh yeah they lost 3-1 to the Twins … CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! I know you fucks probably didn’t see the 15-2 ass-whoppin’ the Cubbies put on the Mets this afternoon. For all of you can’t-get-football-off-of-my-mind types thats two touchdowns, an extra point, and a two point conversion, to a safety. I know I’ll be headin’ down to Wrigley far more often than I’ll be grillin’ out next to in the alley next to the Hockey Town Cafe. Ahhh, now to the NCAA Final Four. As you may know the Spartans aren’t in the Final Four. FUCK! THEY’RE NOT?! Anyhow this is how the bracket breaks down for this Saturday’s action in ‘Nawlins … Texas vs. Syracuse and Marquette (not a school in Michigan, fuckin’ idiots) vs. Kansas. Back to the MSU issue, what the fuck is up with the favoritism towards the Longhorns? The refs called a foul on State everytime they breathed on homosexual Texas player. And the basic home game for the ‘Horns? Maybe there should be a more centralized playing field in the future. Like no team that is from the south should be allowed to play in the south bracket. Bullshit is all I say. Ok enough crying. Over to the NFL (Not For Long). The Lions signed no one today, big suprise huh? NHL news … Wings won 2-0 over the Preditors from Nashville. Too tired to go on. For sports done right, have a helluva night. Peace
Alright, this week is my last week of hard testing before exams….less than one month to go, thank god, i’m feelin some major burn-out
i’m going to need some kind of “wake-up” when this is all over with…a party perhaps? we’ll see, anyway, i’m going to try and get some new movie quotes up soon, so keep on the look-out
~skank~
Well, back to first shift, don’t exactly know how the hell im going to wake up at 6 am again, but I’ll try. I’ll let ya know what its like, and remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty.
Hi there all you little fuckers. You in Mr. Skipp’s neighborhood now, so sit back, and crack open that delicious Budweiser ’cause it’s ’bout to get nucking futs. MARCH MADNESS (I know why I’m mad, do you?) So quick over to the brackets. Hurry up, check to see how fucking wrong you were with those predictions. My NCAA bracket’s are completely screwed. I am in dead last with my pool at work. And half of those fuckers think Marquette is somewhere in Michigan. There are no words left to describe how bad things have become. I have as much chance as winning the NCAA bracket as the Tigers have breaking .300 this year (thats less than 50 games asshole). I know everyone counted them out but I can’t say enough about my Spartans. I actually had them beating Florida, so we’ll see tonight if they can knock off the defending National Champion Maryland Terps. HEY! Duke got beat, how cool is that shit?! Awesome. Arizona, Marquette, Kansas, and Kentucky are in the elite eight so far with four more games being played tonight. OK kids take a hit and hold it in…ahhhhhh, and release. Thats some good shit, eh? Over to NHLville, population: Yzerman. Yeah he’s the man, the Wings are working on a 11 game winning streak with Stevie Y in the line up. I just turned it to Fox Sports Net and the game isn’t on so I’ll have the score later, ok its 2-0 Sharks, 2nd intermission, shit. Ok, the 30 second round-up…Here we go…The Rampage are still in first, but tied with Dallas for first place, the Whitecaps open up their season next week and are predicted to win the series 4 games to none over the Tig’s, Barry Sanders will be on the sidelines this year in Detroit, but only as a spokesperson for the Lions(what the fuck?). Whew, that was crazy. Well I must go, time to punch the clown and smoke a cigarette. But before I really go I want to take this time to say hello to my best bud Josh who’s over in Saddam country fightin’ for the USA. Thanks for defending our country and fighting for our freedom Dunphy. We miss ya bro, get home safe, and kick some fuckin’ ass for us. For sports done right, have a helluva night. Peace.
You guys are going to love this. My job, it’s great, I don’t really have to do a whole lot. Like tonight (after washing trucks the last 3 nights) we went out and picked up delineators, which are the little plastic reflective things scattered about to tell you where the road is. Yeah, I get paid, not too badly in fact, to do this shit. Not that you care, but I do have a hell of a cold from all of the being wet and cold ordeal, I think I am going to be alot worse *cough* *cough*… so we’ll see ya’ll this weekend, and remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty.
Hey …takin a quick study break and thought I would update the column…just want everyone to know…last weekend was a blast, from what I remember anyway…but it was so awesome to hang out with everyone, can’t wait to do it again, just next time lets try n’ tone it down to PG style! We definately are skank n’ hoe…F’SHO!!!!
Well, I don’t know what to say about this past weekend, but I would like to quote one of my favorite movies to sum it all up….. “yikes……..yikes…YIKES! and let me guess you have a great personality”
~SKANK~
….And we’re off!!! ALright, I forgot how stupid the city is. I also forgot how stupid the people in the city are. For example we have an employee that works in our department. SHE will remain nameless cuz I dont even think I know HER name. Anyways, filling potholes is a fairly safe job, all you really have to do is keep an eye on the traffic around you. Welll, unbeknownst to all of the rest of the department, there are other very serious dangers to that particular job, such as this employee brought to our attention. A pothole is not something that just a car can get hurt in… it is also something that people can get hurt in… For instance, after filling a pothole, we now know that one should NOT, repeat should NOT, by any means move towards the curb. The very said object is known to jump out at you, make you fall and break your arm in a matter of milliseconds. So the moral of the story folks, STAY AWAY FROM POTHOLES, THEY CAN KILL!!!!!! (or just break your arm)
Disclaimer: Not all persons should worry about arm eating potholes… only the ones who blatently prove they cannot talk and walk, chew gum and walk, or, as in this case, ones who cannoth hold a damn shovel, and walk.
And remember, Life in the City ain’t pretty
Alright. I went in 3 hours early tonight, for reasons still unknown as far as I can figure, but anyways, I finished 5 routes by 11 and ended up in a 4×4, it was pretty fun… I forgot how much fun it could be actually. I ran across a drug deal, that was bad, thought they were gonna shoot me. Bye