Archive for July, 2002»
But seriously….. that had to be the best wedding I have been to thus far. Got drunk off of champagne (which all alcohol was free!) I danced all night…and I am not just talking like the back and forth in a circle thing….it was like professional dancing…just let the guy do all the leading..I just followed. I was doing spins, and all sorts of stuff. Then I met up with this guy that I hadn’t seen since college freshmen year. Come to find out he is currently attending law school…THEN…he proceeds to ask me out on a date. Too bad he lives in Troy… And it wouldn’t be a true Pi Phi wedding unless there was drama….but we kept the cat fights to a minimum this time…thank god. The best part was when one of my “sisters” because drunk off her ass and started dry humping this guy…the mother of the bride came over to her…yelled accused her of being a “nasty, disease-carrying whore” She proceeded to drag her out of the room and finishing the fight. After the wedding we headed over the after party and continued to get liquored up with the Sigs and didn’t get home until 4am. All in all….i love going to weddings…so if anyone has any weddings coming up soon i want to go! peace out! ~skank~
Ok..so seriously..I”m at work..all alone..do you believe they trust me? wtf!…especially after yesterday..my day from hell..when I made a killer mistake and cost the company money..oh well..guess I’m over it now…they keep tellin me everyone makes mistakes..but I don’t wanna be everyone!!! I’m too good for that…lol..anyway…I”m bored off my ass..wastin’ my time..waitin’ for the freakin weekend..omg..Beachgrind…what what!!!..lol…It’ll be a blast…I can’t believe July i almost over…I mean..c’mon now..only one more month til classes start..are you kiddin me??? ah…back to the world of books and shit..hello orgo!…yikes!…I”m so not ready!!! This weekend better prove to be kickass ass..cuz I took the whole dang thing off..and I can’t really afford that..but hey..I did it anyway :o)~ aight..well..this hoe is out…nothin else to say…and I know..your boredom has hardcore set in by now…so lata punks!
Well……..since I am not really angry about anything right now and am generally happy about everything……I will bring blast from the past in the form of a Dear Dildo
Dear Dildo,
I am a 16-year-old guy. I don’t really know how to explain this. I guess I met this girl over the summer and all I can think about is her. She is thirteen. She’s all I ever think about. I’ve thought about committing suicide, but I’m too afraid right now, because I know I am going to do something good with my life.
I just don’t know how I am going to get over this girl. I would do anything for her.
I’m just afraid if I don’t get over her somehow, I’m not going to be able to take it anymore. Can you please give me some advice or something?
-Confused
Dear Confused,
First of all…..why don’t you tell us the truth about your age?…..you don’t think it is socially acceptable for a 25 year old to be in love with a 13 year old?…….your’e damn right…..16 is prolly too old for the bitch too dumbass……..but, let’s get down to some advice for your dumb pedophile ass…….that’s so sweet that you met her this summer and can’t get her out of your mind…..pussy…..but commit suicide for a piece of ass?…..I thought you were a dumbass for going after a 13 year old…..but obviously you must be one ugly mother fucker……cause this fucking teeny bopper is the only thing you can get close too……….I think that if I was as ugly as you must be….I might consider suicide too you piece of dog shit……also somone as stupid as you is never going to go anywhere in life…..so get that out of your mind….and if you wanna do something for her that will really help her……leave her the fuck alone because you will just mess her up as much as you are…….you wanted some advice, you got some…….now go do something good….get a life or beat it….
-Dildo
There it is folks….me making a difference in a pathetic loser’s life…..aren’t I grand?…..and remember….control the kid population…have your kids spayed or neutered….and if all else fails…..be a prick….The Prickmater, Dildo
Hi. I am alive. Not that anyone noticed that I was gone. Anyway I am back…for now at least. I had a good birthday. Thanks to all of you who came and got me fucked up (and later raped). Well I’ll have some sports for you tomorrow. Too tired to go on. Love you all. Peace.
But seriously…did Reign of Fire suck ass or what?! Besides some cool-lookin dragons the movie was two big thumbs down… even with it being a bad movie I did manage to get one quote from it (i know…i know… i’m a genius)… VAN ZAN “Ever see a male?” QUINN “When I’m running for my life I generally don’t look back at the plumbing.”
But seriously…if they don’t have good movies next week…I may have to break out in bitch mode f’sho! But that movie did not even compare to the sick mo fo’s I saw afterward at the park & ride… Timmy dropped me off and we saw two people there, and at first it didn’t look like anything big, but then I got in my car, turned on my lights and was pulling out when i got a closer look… and I’m not joking…it was two guys having sex! I had nightmares all night…DISGUSTING! I don’t think i can ever go there again! aight I have some shit to do…but check out the hoe’s report on the concert…f’sho PEACE! ~skank~
what up diiiiiiiiiiiirty? haha…sorry…still Nelly style…but seriously …c’mon now…it was off the hook f’sho-it was one huge dance party…better then Reign of Fire…but hell…it was the Dirty one himself…c’mon now…what could be better..oh ya…Sister Hazel..lol…anyway…omg…I’m so excited!!!…the concert was a blast! Just imagine this..your typical county fair…cowboy hats and boots galore..and then in walk the lunatic fans….hittin up the G-style thuggin’ f’sho..it was great…walkin down the midway..seein’ pimps n’ hoes and cowboys all in one…haha..aight..work calls…uh…my job? ya right…its 9 and I’m already bored cuz the DG screen is down…aight..peace out yo!
~hoe~
But seriously guys…this is our first column..and we’re SO excited!!! we’re in good ol’ coops town..chillin’ like villians. ok…so ang’s computer is been janked up for a few weeks…so we’re sharin’ a chair..cuddin’ on linds request…typin our new bad ass column..that we still have no idea what it will detail 
We could recollect Thursday night…but 50% of this column’s authors doesn’t really have a clue to what went on…so..we’ll leave that topic alone, and we think most other parties would like it that way as well…this seems wierd typin a column sober ;). Ok..so tonight linds talked ang into eating the most fatnin’ food there is…the monte cristo from bennigan’s..omg…lind’s opinion: “it was nummy although my cholesterol level has highly skyrocketed” ang’s opinion “it was like a fuckin’ elephant ear with meat…wtf!!!” anyway….to honor linds and her movie fetish…”I fear you underestimate my sneekiness sir”….aight…peace out all…we gotta work in the morning..sucks to be us!…but seriously…til next time…~skank n’ hoe~
Well, apparently it’s about time to update my little nook in cyberspace with some more shit about what I think about life in general and all that hoo-hah.
Anyway, I suppose it’s about time to get down to biz-nass. So let’s do somethin’ here.
For the first time ever… I can finally say I’m content with everything that’s going on in my life. Now what’s the point of having a column about me hating life if I actually like what’s going on in it right now? I have no fucking clue. So I guess, as always, I’ll just shoot it from the hip and let ‘er rip.
I found out almost a week ago that I’m not going to Mt. Pleasant anymore to take over the store up there. Whoopty shit. Like I wanted to move to that hell hole anyway. Now, apparently, the new plan is for me to take over the Grandville store when my boss moves to one of the two new stores that are going to be opened later this year in the Detroit area. So for all those hoping that I’d be packin’ my shit and be out of your lives for a while… don’t get your hopes up just yet.
I’ve gotta admit… even with the news about not goin’ to Mt. Pleasant… I’m really not that pissed. I actually… dare I say it… kinda like this little town we call G.R. All the people who care about me live around here. I actually like the job I have… and things are lookin’ better to me every single day.
Sure, I’ve got my problems just like everyone else does, but it ain’t no thang. Life is good in any and all aspects, and that’s really all I can ask for.
Well, that’s it for this “exciting” edition of HHL direct from Sosa-land. So for all you little kidlins out there… please remember… spandex is a privilege… not a right.
Here we go!!! Alright, I’m still enjoying my job, but when some guy makes it a point to try and see how close he can get to the little guy in the orange vest while he’s driving a mid-80’s Cutlass…. Yeah, no thanks
HE TRIED MOWING ME OVER, MISSED, SO HE CAME BACK AND TRIED AGAIN!!!
well…..to me 5 fans out there in cyberspace and all you other fuckers that hate me……here it is one more time….The Word of the Dildo……..let’s get down to the first thing on my mind…….ok… Out in california a school banned dodgeball because the older bigger kids dominated. and another school banned the game of tag because it singled out a child and they thought it was bad. Those are the games we played at school and they are banning them cause they might be damaging to the childs feelings….give me a fucking break …..in today’s day and age….parents are raising a generation of pussies……if you want your kid to be the welcome mat for the world to stomp on….you might as well say to hell with a kid being tough….start putting a helmet on little tommy and elbow pads on little suzy……god know all us kids who were raised with trips to the emergency room and bumps and bruises need someone to pick on and beat the shit out of when we are having a bad day……orgive tommy the little plastic truck because with the metal tonka truck….he could cut himself…..pusssssssssssssy…..or worse, if he bumped his head with it, he could actually experience the bumps and bruises of a real childhood…….and you know these parents who are banning all our childhood games from school are beating the shit out of their children in the privacy of their own basement anyways….”Hey bobby….come on down to the timeout room for you daily beating….but don’t forget your helmet and elbow pads”……wanna hear some statistics on tough kids….too fuckin bad….all you’re going to hear if my fucking opinion biiiiooooootch…….well, I must get back to my exciting unemployed life…..until we meet agin……fuck you all…….and remember ….control the kid population…..have your kids spayed or neutered……if all ealse fails…be a prick…
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK TIHMAY FOR HIS HELP ON THIS COLUMN