Archive for February 25th, 2002:
Oh my God! I’m back…hell we’re back. This is weird man. Oh well, I think we can deal with it. Why am i here tonight…yeah, ummmm…Sports, thats right, Timmay has allowed me to report on this most coveted topic. Well i must say with how busy life has become I might be a bit radical and “off-target at times.” And if you, the reader, does not like it. Too fuckin’ bad. Sunday the Canada people beat our beloved Americans in the championship medal round of the 2002 Winter games 5-2. First the bastards search every fuckin’ car I have ever came across the boarder in, and now they take the gold too. Fuckin’ Canucks. Love ya. Out.
Here we go once again with the show that never ends. Ladies and gents… I give to you another action-packed edition of… oh wait… this isn’t sports… I mean I give to you another lecture on how to be an ass… oh wait… this isn’t prick 101, and I’m sure as shit NOT Dildo… So I guess I’ll talk about my mis-adventures in the city of G.R. Nope… that’s not me either… damn I’m slippin’. Okay, let’s try this one more time. How’s about this… I give to you another journey into the ramblings and utter nonsense that crams itself into the brain of the one and only… Sosa. Ah… now that’s a little better. So here we go and shit. Let’s start out with a bit on the positive. For those of you who haven’t been able to catch up with me since the site went down in flames… I done got me a job. Now I can get all the computer shit I want at cost. Ain’t life grand? Anyway… let’s keep this moving. I’m about to drop a new term on you kids. So put your thinkin’ caps on. Cuz this one’s a little bit complicated for those of you with a third grade reading level or if you go to Michigan State, or if you’re a state fan in general(sorry kids… I had to take that one). Anyway, the new term is “crack monkey”. Now a crack monkey isn’t just a dumbass… they go well beyond that level. These colorful little creatures make it their mission to make your life more complicated. ESPECIALLY in the workplace. Even moreso when you work on computers for a living. Yes… these crack monkeys are especially wonderful indeed. However, I’ve recently decided that all crack monkeys residing in Sosa Land will officially need to get the fuck off my lawn before I bust my 12 gauge out on em. Yep… I’ve officially grown sick of these little bastards that are completely bereft of common sense, and are basically wasting good oxygen for the rest of us by being allowed to still be breathing. So kill a crack monkey today boys and girls. On that note, at least for the time being… I bid all of you non-crack monkeys out there a fond adieu. And remember… spandex is a privilege, not a right.