Archive for December, 2001»
Alright, so I’ll do a fuckin’ report tonight. The Spartans extended their home winning streak to 53 games last night as they pounded Oakland. Johnnie Morton made a guest apperance on The Tonight Show last night. Host Jay Leno and the Lions receiver traded several blows (mostly jokes) during the five minute “interview.” After the Lions first victory on Sunday Morton was seen on camera telling Leno to kiss his ass. Every night for the last eleven weeks or so Leno has been nailing the Lions to the wall with his insightfulness and dry humor. It all ended when Leno made good with the Lions by granting a wish to Morton, to kiss his ass. A donkey (wearing a Lions ‘rug’ of sorts) was led on to the Tonight Show set by who appeared to be Barry Sanders (but he was white and probably pushin’ 50) and Leno kissed the ‘Ass’ on the nose. So in a way Morton got his revenge on the host for shovling the shit to the Lions week after week. But in the end Jay and Johnnie made up. Yeah, in other sports news. The Dead Wings stopped the bleeding with a win. The Pistons are looking more like themselves lately. And how much more can I say about my Lions. Fuck yeah! 1-12, and it feels like the god damn Super Bowl. Lets all drink some beers this Sunday and watch’em get run over by the ‘bus’. Like I said, beer. For sports done right, have a helluva night. Out.
Welcome to the Sunday edition of Sports Center. All I have to say today is LIONS! Yes they finally fuckin’ won a God damn game. The players acted as if they just won the fuckin’ Super Bowl. Well hell if my team went 0 and forever I think I would do the same shit. Hell has froze over. At least for today. I smell 2-14. Whats in your wallet? Out.
Well I am back from my sickness, yes I am still sick, but in many other ways than just physically. I hate the BCS! I’ll be back tomorrow with a FULL update. I must rest now. Out.
Okay, welcome to another fun-filled edition of High Heat Life. Once again, Sosa’s comin’ at ya with all the action of someone from the TCC. For those of you who are uneducated as to what the TCC is. Welcome to the Too Cool Club kiddies.
So apparently one Mr. Dildo is under the impression that I’m too cool to hang out with him or call any of my friends or anything like that. Well, there are a few ways that I can go about this, but I think that I’ll take a lesson from prick 101 and see if I pass my first test for the course. So here we go.
Alright, I guess all I have time for as of late are my friends Hannah and Sara instead of hangin’ out with the boys, and, by the way, that’s bull shit. I’ll tell you folks that right up front. You have a problem with me hangin’ out with other people than those exclusive to our little circle then how’s about you pucker the fuck up and kiss my white ass. Because I’m sick of dealin’ with this shit. I had plans to hang out with Hannah and Sara last Sunday night to play PS2, watch movies, etc… So Dildo just so happens to 2-way Sara over Nextel while we’re watchin’ football and she happens to mention that we have plans to hang out later that night. Dildo then mentions that he was unaware of these plans. See, I didn’t tell anyone about these plans because I just wanted to hang out with Hannah and Sara. Just shoot the shit, hang out, no big thing… Just a night to myself where I can chill out without the guys. Is that too much to ask? No, I think not. So, I leave James’ apartment around seven to get cleaned up and all that good stuff. Then, at some point after I’m at my place waiting for Hannah and Sara, apparently Mr. Dildo was there too. Waiting in his car in the PARKING LOT of my apartment complex waiting for them to show up.
So the buzzer goes, and here they come with Dildo in tow. Once again, my plan to go without drama for a single night is thwarted in part by that pleasant little experience. Now I’m sure to that you’ll say something like, “Why didn’t you tell me to leave or some shit like that?”
Do you actually think I’d be that rude? No, I’m not gonna tell you to leave. Besides that, you should’ve had the fucking common sense to realize that maybe there was a reason why I didn’t tell anyone about these plans. Which I explained earlier was to just have a night away from the boys. Aside from that, I probably wouldn’t have cared that you came over if you would’ve at least made an attempt to show some common fucking courtesy and called me first to check if it was alright to stop by. You know… seeing how I already had plans and all. However, both are common, and neither were even present. Hence our dilemma.
I’m not even going to get into the issue of the phone call from my ex later that night simply because that’s irrelevant to the current subject.
By the way, did you ever notice that not calling Dildo apparently means that I haven’t called any of my friends or something to that effect. Hmmmm… maybe some cool-off time was in order for me after having my night shot on Sunday night? Nah… Dildo is more important than that. Did ya catch the sarcasm in that one? Cuz it’s kinda hard to throw the vocals of sarcasm into a column. Anyway…
Did I appreciate Dildo callin’ me throughout the week to hang out? Yes. Did I do anything with him? No. Why? The answer is simple. Two things… 1: I think some cooldown was definitely in order after that Sunday night. 2: I’ve been sick lately, and since I’ve been going out with James and the guys later in the evening/night… I’ve been saving my strength and dopin’ up on cold medicine during the day.
So Dildo, while you may think I’m too cool or whatever… Maybe you should try to fathom the fact that I’m anything but. And maybe… just MAYBE… you should take some time to realize that you are most definitely not one of those people who can do no wrong. You are NOT one of those people whose shit doesn’t stink.
Nothin’ personal to you Dildo. I just think that you need to realize some things before you go talkin’ shit about people when you don’t realize what’s really goin’ on. Well… now you know, and I’m sure you’ll be pissed off and have some wonderful things to say to me. However, if you’re gonna search for an apology… that’s one thing that you won’t get.
That’s it for this edition of HHL kids. Maybe it’s not for all eyes, and if it’s not… well then maybe that’s another thing that you should think about Dildo. How’s about keepin’ people’s personal lives off the site too? Thanks. See ya later folks.