Archive for November, 2001»
Well, heres a new life in the city report for y’all. I’ve been out on the road for a good portion of the day. I saw some mexicans lose an office chair out the back of a U-haul. Saw a cop pull over the mexican fellows and redirect them to go get their damn chair. I saw the mexicans pick the chair up and put it back in the U-haul. Then I saw the cop and the mexicans drive away. I’ve also removed a bunch of shit out of a cruiser. That was fun, you never know what you are going to find in a police car. A couple of spent shotgun shells, a crack pipe made out of an airline liquor bottle, some guys ID, and a pair of slightly soiled Hanes briefs. Oh yeah, its motherfucking friday and there ain’t a damn thing getting done around here… not that anything gets done monday thru thursday, but thats beside the point. Adam is smart. Hes the guy who replaced Booker. Adam is married to a stripper named Candy. Adam also drives ford’s… so if you see him, run him off the road, help him collect insurance money so he can afford to buy a Chevy. Just remember, Life in the city ain’t pretty.
Alright, here it goes, are you ready? Are you scared? Are you nervous? Well you shouldn’t be, its just a column. I got to work today, felt like I was hung over even tho I only had like 4 or 5 beers at the bar… I punched in and slithered my way straight over to the coffee pot… This is where I spent most of my day. Next to the coffee pot…. drinking coffee…. lots and lots of coffee. Usually when I have a cup of coffee, I’ll have a cigarette with it, not just any cigarette, but the fabled Marlboro Reds…. Cowboy Killers as they are known to some. Not on this particular day tho. I decided to try and give up cigarettes. I know what you are thinking, “Holy shit did he actually say that?” Yes, yes I did, as much as it pains me to admit… I am quitting smoking. I know for some of you those are not easy words to hear, mainly because most of you think of james or a cigarette and just associate the two as one…. which was fine. But now I am going to have to go outside for a true “breath of fresh air”. You dont know what its like drinking 3 POTS OF COFFEE in less than 3 hours, ask anyone who had the grace of me beeping their phone this morning, was I talking slightly fast? I have a feeling I was…. I even got to swing a hammer while on a caffiene buzz, man, I was wailing on whatever or whomever I was hittting…. most of this morning was a blur…. so is this column…. life at the city sucks, im out
Well, well. Guess who’s back? No, not me, but yes I am. Texas was all it needed to be. A vacation. Not really that sports related, but a god damn vacation. I see that the Bears won tonight, picked it up on AM 1000 outta Chi-town on the drive up, helluva game. Ditka would be proud. What kind of fuckin’ world do we live in when the always shitty Bears are 8-2, and the Lions (whom I cannot come up with a proper title for because it is that fuckin’ bad) are 0-10? I talked with some rednecks this past week in Dallas and they as well as I can’t wait for the season finale in Pontiac between the NFL’s two best teams (vs. the ‘Boys). What a showdown thats gonna be. Gimme a fuckin’ break. Two sorry ass teams. I’m gonna write a letter to the league offices requesting that this game be played at Houseman Field. Because thats the caliber of these two teams, they’re merely glorified high school teams with high salary’s. I would bet everything I had on Grand Valley, without Anes, beating the Lions 23-13. Thats with McMahon starting. Hell I say if you took Granville and Jenison’s teams and combined them they’d put up a close one. That says a lot for my Lions, er, pussy cats. Good thing there’s an expansion team this year, ’cause the Cats would have the first pick. So once again they picked a helluva year to try for the number one. Too bad they’re gonna get two. Losers. For sports done right, have a good night. Out.
Alright boys and girls… prepare yourselves once again for the roller coaster extravaganza that I call high heat life.
Okay, so here I am, at the rent’s house in good ol’ Greenville to update this thing and have some pre-emptive birthday cheer. However, there are some other things that kind of need to be addressed here in this shiz-nat. So let’s do it, and once again… this will be in Dennis Miller format.
Now I don’t wanna get off on a rant here, but shouldn’t people’s personal lives and personal business stay exactly that… personal? Now I know this may be a foreign concept to some. To others it may just be a question of common courtesy. Yet to other more… foolish… people, it’s simply a question… no… a LACK of common fucking sense.
Granted, I realize that common sense may be just the opposite to some, and we all know that there are some people who make that BLATANTLY obvious. After all, it’s not everyday that shit you say in confidence to people gets aired out to everyone. Then when it happens it’s like you’ve just been sucker punched by a family member. Gotta love that bein’ caught with your pants down feeling. Ain’t it grand? Hell, it’s even better when it comes from someone that you actually trusted. Yum yum… taste that goodness of shit truly hitting the fan.
Now we come to the topic of thinking before you speak/act. Once again, this is another that people just tend to overlook before they even attempt to conceive the repercussions of their actions. Some call it funny. Others call it an attempt toward being a smart ass. I call it being one ignorant son of a bitch. After all, you don’t know who you’re hurting. Hell, you don’t even fucking think about it. Then when people get pissed you wonder what THEIR fucking problem is. Granted, it all leads back to the whole common sense thing, but still… my point is being made dammit.
Well, on a lighter note… I turn 22 in a couple days, and I’m going to see Linkin Park on Thursday. I’d like to say life can’t get any better, but you know that shit ain’t true. Unfortunately, there will be no name game in this edition of HHL. Why? Because the only person on AIM who could be available to do it is me, and I don’t really feel like talkin’ to myself right now. That’s it for this edition of high heat life. It’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL.
Whassup muthafuckaz?! It’s warm here, whoa, hey baby grab me ‘nutha one of those brewski’s. The Lions lost, but not before ripping my heart out by tryin’ to win. What’s with these “let’s only try at the end games”? I also would like to give huge props to Mike McMahon. He looked good enough to start the rest of the season. Sorry Charlie. Well I gotta jet, got some sun to catch. For sports done right, have a helluva night…0-10, yes!
look who stepped into this muthafucka….This is dildo fillin in on the Thanksgiving Sports Report…….Yeah, the pistons are off to a great seson start with a record of 7-2 starting off…..bad boyz…I think not……Lions are 0-9 thanks to another valiant choke by Charlie Batch in the fourth quarter….anyone who ever asked if it was possible to be lower then horse shit….I think the Lions have answered it for you….Jeff Gordon won the NASCAR…..oh wait nobody gives a fuck…..NASCAR is for redneck inbreeders with mullets……Got much love for the family….Fillin in for skippy, for sports done right……have a non-drama queen night….
Life at the City is great. I get to clean out a dusty room that no one uses so we can paint it. Fun stuff. I actually got out of the shop today and got to drive to 36th and Madison/Roger B. Chaffee Blvd. Boy was that fun. My NEXTEL works thank goodness or else I wouldn’t be able to annoy all of my friends with NEXTELs. Speaking of whichl, Sam, you should know by now that I’m going to alert you whenever you hold that damn thing up to your ear. On another note, Al Volansky just got paged to the stockroom… poor guy. About the only thing happening around the city today is a bunch of yellow trucks driving around wasting gas. Nothing wrong with that, I’m just jealous cuz Im stuck inside the shop. I can’t seem to escape all of the dust in the dusty room, so I think I’ll just light up a cigarette to clear my lungs…. mmmmmmmmm Diet Coke. Well, break time is almost over so that means I have to go somewhere else to sit on my ass for the remainder of the day… I have a feeling that theres about 20 different chairs with ass-grooves formed in them just from me these past couple of days… boy oh boy, if you could just see the excitement around here…
What’s happenin’ muthafuckaz? I will be doin’ the show live from Dallas all week so log me on and see what’s fuckin’ new, here on Sports Center. Tonight there will not be any report because I will be red-eyein’ it for 18 hours. So just put good ‘ol Skippy in your prayers and dreams tonight. Think of me often, but not while you’re on the shitter. Much love and peace to all of you a-holes. Nope, not gonna miss any of you sonsabithes either. Gotta go, the Jerome Bettis is leavin’. For sports done right, have a fuckin’ sweet ass night. GO LIONS!